Bhaitika

Today is the last day of Tihar. It marks the end of a one-month festival and holiday period that started with Dashain. Four weeks of incredible, amazing and truly memorable experiences. Obviously the rituals and meanings behind them are unique to Nepal and Hinduism, but the general ambience has felt very much like Christmas back home: lots of get-togethers with family and friends; feasting with special and indulgent foods; gift-giving; dressing up in new and special clothes; great weather; time off work; less traffic on the roads; and a quiet, relaxed and festive feeling.

Today is Bhai Tihar: the day that brothers all over Nepal travel to their sister’s marital home to receive blessing for a long and healthy life. In return gifts of money are bestowed on sisters.

I was warmly welcomed into the home of a colleague to participate in bhaitika. She probably thinks she was just being hospitable by extending the invitation. She likely has no idea how profoundly generous it is to share special family days like these with strangers; how meaningful and memorable this act of kindness is for someone far from home. I have been shown such hospitality and inclusion by so many people since I arrived.

She is one of six siblings – four of them coming together today, and one brother and sister having their own separate ceremony in the USA. I arrived in the morning as the final dishes for lunch were being prepared. As the auspicious time approached we made our way to the roof terrace. From there we could see similar gatherings of siblings on the roof terraces of all the neighbouring homes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYx1XsjkXeU

Then the time came. Dai and bhai took their place on the carpet. Sisters arrived dressed in beautiful saris and jewellery. Guided by younger sister – through the miracle of technology via Viber from America! – we prepared the area with a ritual purification of the place: crushing of a walnut at the entrance to the terrace; placing tika on the doorframe of the temple room; marking a circle around the brothers with oil and flower petals.

Then to oiling the brothers head, showering them with petals, placing seven-coloured tika on their forehead, and draping with garlands of makhamali (globe amaranth), marigold and chrysanthemum flowers. Finally feeding them milk and a dairy sweet, and offering a bounty of fruits, chocolates and nuts.

In return we received tika, mala and a gift of money from the boys.

After the requisite selfie and multiple group photos, we moved downstairs to eat a delicious lunch. And then a stroll around the neighbourhood.

Fancy clothes! Gifts! Feasting! Photos! Friends! Faux Family! Fun!

What more could a girl ask for!

Happy Tihar!